talk radio
PUDGY WANTS A WAR
by H. Millard (c) 2002

I heard Pudgy on the radio again the other day. He was bleating for you to send your kids to kill and be killed in Iraq. Marines have an expression for blowhards like Pudgy. They say they have battleship mouths and rowboat muscles.

Pudgy sat out Korea. He was too young for that one. Pudgy sat out Vietnam. He was apparently too busy working at some radio station or other for that absurdity. Pudgy sat out Desert Storm. He was too old. In fact, Pudgy has never even been in the military, but it's reported that he's seen a couple of war movies, probably in his private air conditioned mansion.

Big mouth, knee jerk, shallow Pudgy is busy each day on his radio program beating war drums that he will never have to answer. It won't be Pudgy's kids who will go to war and maybe come military funeralback in body bags. It'll be our kids. While we're getting our folded American flags and being told our kids died for a noble cause, and while we're wondering what the hell the noble cause was, Pudgy will be out on the golf course with his rich friends. While our children, the future of our families, lie in cold graves, Pudgy and his pals will be raking in millions of dollars and leading lives of conspicuous consumption and self-absorption.

war gameWhy is Pudgy pushing so hard to have our kids put in danger? Perhaps, it's partly because war is like a game to Pudgy and others who haven't seen blown up bodies. Pudgy probably figures that war is like a football game. You pick your team and then you root for it. If a players fall down, they get up and keep playing. No one dies. No family line is wiped out. No future is never to be.

Another reason that Pudgy wants our kids to put themselves in harm's way is because Pudgy says that Israel is in danger from Iraq. Israel? What state of the fifty United States is Israel? Never mind.

So, Pudgy is helping out the pre-war effort for his rich pals who will benefit from oil profits once Iraq is turned into a puppet of the U.S.

I've known other Pudgies in my life. They're the soft, fat mama's boys who are always egging others on and then saying that they're not part of the mischief they've helped cause. This radio Pudgy is like that. He's soft. He's self-indulgent.

Pudgy's got a propaganda shtick going on his radio program. He drools his silly war talk as though he has some gonads--of course, if Pudgy had gonads he might have some of his own children by now, but he doesn't. After babbling on for a time, Pudgy takes a caller who has sports fanbeen carefully selected to parrot what Pudgy has just said. "I agree 100% with what you said," says the caller. "We have to protect America." The scam in this is that this is calculated to have suggestible radio listeners--and Pudgy has a lot of those-- subconsciously think, "Gee, that caller is just an ordinary guy like me, and ordinary guys know that we have to invade Iraq. It's the patriotic thing to do."

Pudgy won't die in Iraq. Pudgy won't even stub his toe. Pudgy will be driven around in air conditioned limos to the best restaurants, while our 18 year old kids are over there in the desert, killing other 18 year old kids because Pudgy and his rich pals want a war. We and our kids are expendable. We are pawns in the elites' games. We are the cannon fodder for the elites like Pudgy.

And what about Pudgy's pal, President Bush? Will his kids go to war? Nope. What about Governor Bush of Florida? Will his kids go to war? Nope. War is for the poor and middle class Desert Storm trooperskids of this nation who are manipulated into thinking it is glorious and, in this case, that we must attack a nation that has never attacked us and which is not a threat to the United States. The kids of the elites are too busy for dying. They have to go to Harvard and Yale and other prestigious colleges so they'll be ready to take daddy's place when it's time. And when it's their time to lead, they'll send another generation of average kids to die, while their own kids go to Harvard and Yale and other prestigious colleges.

"Sons of Desert Storm"Why Iraq? Because Bush doesn't like their leader. Why? Probably partly due to a psychological condition in which the present President Bush feels that he must outdo his father, the first President Bush. Some sort of Oedipus complex, maybe.

As I've written in other columns, it isn't Iraqis who are sneaking across our border and killing our citizens. It isn't Iraqis who are destroying the United States of America. The clear and present danger to the U. S. is coming from Mexico and points south. By the way, Pudgy never says much about unbridled Third World immigration or the real dangers to the U.S. Why? Because he's part of the elite class that thinks they will always be on top, even though millions and millions of ordinary citizens are the victims of this Third World invasion of the U.S.

"going to kick Saddam's butt"Maybe it's time for all good, decent American citizens to tell the Pudgies of the world to put their own fat asses where their big mouths are. Get into a uniform Pudgy. Pick up a rifle. Head to Iraq. If you do that, we can be the ones to say "Hey, we're right behind you," just as you're doing now. And, when you turn around you'll find there's no one there. Let's change roles. This time we'll be the mouth warriors while you, Pudgy, and your fou fou pals duck bullets. Many veterans believe that until the Pudgies of the world go to war themselves, they should just shut their big fat pie holes.

Besides, many good, decent citizens can't risk going to war thousands of miles away, because we're already fighting a war right here in our own cities and towns against an invasion force of illegal aliens who are destroying our American way of life.

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