"I'll tell you what I'm all about man," said Homeless Jack. "I'm about life. I love life. I honor life. I respect life. Now, that doesn't mean that I think all life is the same or that I should lift up other sorts of life above my own kind of life. But, I see life as a transformation of so-called lifeless minerals into a higher form. It's part of the big spinning and the big struggle, man. I don't mean that minerals are dead, because so long as they have atoms moving about, they are not dead in the precise sense of the term, at least in my book. Movement is life. Total non-movement is death. I'm also about struggle. Minerals struggle to be life and life struggles to be higher life. It does this blindly and instinctually.

But, it's like I told you before, I believe white humans have reached the point where we have to override some of our instincts and we have to go back to some we have overridden in order to give our evolution a kick in the pants. If we don't, we may fall back down to lower levels of evolution. It's like we're on a cosmic conveyor belt of evolution that has moved us to where we are--to a point when our intelligence has reached a level where we're now on our own and where we must make our future evolution work or we'll be pulled back down. We've been distilled out from the muck and we're sitting on top of it. If we don't make a move, we're going to be pulled back into the muck and be as the muck.

"Or, maybe we should think of it as though nature has thrown us out in the pond of existence and told us to sink or swim. The metaphors come unbidden, man. Maybe we can think of evolution as though it's an escalator. It's taken us up to the next floor, but now it won't take us any higher. Now we have to find the stairs and start climbing them. That's where I want to go, man. I want to go up. But, here's the paradox in all this. To go up, we must go down."

"You mean, like you living on Skid Row? Is that what you mean by going down?" I asked.

"You might say that," said Jack. "You see that pile of garbage over there covered with maggots?" asked Jack as he pointed at a small pile of meat scraps that someone had dropped in an alley behind a restaurant.

"Yeah, I see it. So what?" I replied.

"What do you see?" asked Jack.

"Garbage, flies and maggots."

"You know what I see?" asked Jack. "I see life transforming non-life into more life. Those flies and maggots are transforming the garbage into more of themselves by eating it. This morning, that was just a tiny pile of garbage. Now the garbage is mostly gone and it's a pile of life. Pretty soon there will be no garbage there, only life. When you see something like that, you can understand why people once thought that flies spontaneously generated from decaying meat. First there's the hunk of meat and all of a sudden it's a pile of maggots and soon they turn into flies. Then, a guy did an experiment and proved that only flies can make more flies. Just like only whites can make more whites. You don't see many examples of life like that up in the pristine rich areas, because they're devoid of life. They're too antiseptic. They're too plastic and too much removed from the flesh. That's what I really mean when I say you have to go down to go up. You have to be in touch with the basics of life.

"So, what are some people doing to try to go up--to improve the species? They're saying that we need to breed more carefully so that we'll improve. Man, that's a crock in our day. And, improve the species? All humans? Whites are an improvement of the species already and look at us, we're dying off because there aren't enough of us. We're the ones who have split off from the rest of the species and we're the ones who are on the way to being a new species, if we do things right. If we do things wrong, then we're not going to move higher and we'll only fall lower. Maybe when white life is all over the place we can start being picky about breeding better whites, but for right now, any whites will do just fine, thank you.

Whites have too much numerical competition from black, brown, yellow and red life and we're in a world now where we're being encouraged to breed with them. That's the way of devolution, man. We have to be like those maggots and flies on that garbage. We need to gorge ourselves. And, then when we finish eating, we need to breed for no other reason than to produce more of us, who are just like us, until we fill all the lands and consume all the food. But, unlike the flies, when we do what comes naturally, we'll be using our brains to will our own evolution. Don't forget, man, right now we need quantity over quality. Even if we breed morons, so long as they're white, they'll carry our white genes within them and they may be the vessels to keep those genes safe until we can correct them. If the rest of the bright whites die off because of cross breeding or because they're killed by non-whites, maybe it'll be the morons who will keep us from extinction and stumble into the future.

"The ones who think they can breed just a few and improve the race are dreaming. Their limited breeding will lead no where. It never has. Don't misunderstand me on this. If we could breed many of the best and brightest among us and end up with improved children we'd be better off. The problem is that those who think about breeding up that way always get too damn selective and often don't understand what up really means anyway. I'll take the old white working class families with a dozen average I.Q. kids each, over a ten yuppie white families with a single above average I.Q. kid each, any day of the week.

"Where are the better children of the old eugenicists? Show me some. Show me their worth to us as a people. Show me that they're leading us up. What great achievements have they brought us? Have they ensured our survival? Have they stopped the genocide against us? What a bunch of crap, man. Give me one polygamist living out in the desert of Arizona who has fifty kids and I'll point out a guy who gets it. And, what do you hear from some of the intentionally childless white yuppie scum when they talk about some of those polygamists? You'll hear them sniff that the polygamists and their children are a burden on society and that the polygamists can't afford the kids and use welfare or other government aid. What a double bunch of crap. The real burdens on our society are the intentionally childless white yuppies. As a society, we should be supporting the white polygamists, because they're making more of us while the yuppies are more concerned about their figures or making money or buying new cars. Give me the guys who bringing white life into existence over some of the phony white yuppies any day, man.

"We're like those flies and maggots, except we've forgotten the real purpose of life. Instead of eating so we can survive to breed, and so we'll grow and expand by making more of ourselves; instead of spreading our genes as far as possible through more of us, we just eat and eat and only get fat and then we die. Crappy wasted lives. We've short circuited ourselves. We've gotten arrogant and we've started thinking that we're above the rest of nature so we've removed ourselves from nature. Some people understand what I'm saying, man, without knowing they understand. Farmers usually understand even though they may not be able to put it in words as I'm doing. People in slums understand. Life is dirty and chaotic, man. If you try to make it clean and orderly, you kill it.

"We've become a schizophrenic people and we falsely believe that what's really important for us is to do all sorts of meaningless things until we die. There's this guy down the street, who is a full out schizophrenic who just mumbles to himself all day long and who just walks around a particular telephone pole every waking hour. I bet in his mind he believes that his walking around that pole is really important and that walking around that pole is his purpose in life. He's like a rat in a cage, man. Most of us realize that what he's doing is meaningless, yet we can't see that much of what we do is also meaningless, and that we're in our own cages. To me, the pole guy is an example of the rest of our society.We're walking around our own poles in our own mental cages. Some people who see the futility of most of what we think is important drop out of society, but they just keep doing their own meaningless things that are different from the other meaningless things only in that they are different meaningless things."

"And, what about you, Jack? I don't mean to be rude, but you seem to be doing pretty meaningless things yourself." I said.

"Yeah. But I see my meaningless things for what they are and I'm working to make a change, man. I'm going to find a bunch of women who want to breed and I'm going to do it."

"When, Jack?

"Soon," said jack.

"Right," I said.

"Right," said Jack.

"Soon," I said.

"Right. Soon," said Jack.

That's when I left. Jack's pole and cage might be different than some others, but I don't think he's completely given up his meaningless and repetitive actions and he's still in his cage. If he's right and if we have to go down--which I take to mean that we have to strip ourselves of the conceits and things of our society--in order to go up, then he certainly seems to be on the right track, at least physically, because he's about as down as you can go. In some ways, Jack reminds me of the Holy Men in India who go live in caves and lead meager ascetic lives in order to find nirvana. The difference with Jack is that for all the poverty of his existence, he doesn't preach asceticism at all. In fact, he preaches that we should not deny our senses.

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THE OUTSIDER - (ISBN: 0-595-19424-9)
H. Millard’s underground classic story of alienation is
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