AN OPEN LETTER TO ROCKY BALBOA FROM STUMPY AL

Rocky, I caught your fight with that pug Mason Dixon the other night. You should have won that fight, man. Ain't you been reading my fight tips? Look, you don't fight a black guy the way you fight a white guy. And, that's what youse was doin'.

You gotta fight gene smart, man. Tailor yourself to the opponent. Fight your strengths and his weaknesses. Don't buy that blender crap that all people are the same except for different color paint jobs. We're all different, man. Maybe the problem is that you've bought into this we're all the same crap. Hey, how many times I gotta say it--It ain't so, man. One wrong idea like that can screw up your head so bad you'll never figure out why you win or lose fights. Let me set you straight, Champ. We're all different and we all have different strengths and weaknesses. Nature gifts you in one department but has to short you out in another in order for it to all fit in one package.

Let me explain the facts of real life to you, so you'll be ready when you fight this guy again, and I know you'll do that 'cause the purse is gonna be too big and the pressure will be too great to not fight him again. See, you almost won the first fight, man, and if I had been training you, you would have won it. You probably would have knocked Dixon out before the 5th round. Anyway, a rematch will rake in millions and millions of bucks, especially if it's a sanctioned championship fight. Hell, the money just from the geezers in the old folks homes will make you a rich man. Maybe then, you can hire some real Italians to cook in your joint. Paulie got it right, Champ, it just don't seem right that you got Mexicans cookin' your Italian food. They don't know from no pasta, Champ.

First, your trainer was right. You're too old to try to out speed Dixon. Even when youse was younger you couldn't have done that. Blacks generally have faster hands and feet than whites. That's one of their strengths.

You gotta be a little more like the real Rocky--Rocky Marciano--and, yeah, I was a kid, but I was there in Brockton when Rocky came back and there was a big parade for the guy. You know what, I seen him up close. He wasn't a very big guy and his arms was short. Looked like your butcher or a guy from the docks. So, how come he was the only unbeaten heavyweight champ? I'll tell youse why. He fought using his strengths. He got inside and beat the hell out of his bigger and faster opponents with his piston like arms. And, yeah, he had the killer instinct, but you got that, too.

One guy who fought Rocky said the Brockton Blockbuster hit him in the arm so hard that the guy's arm was no good for most of the rest of the fight. You gotta get that kinda strength in your punches.

Here's what you did wrong in your fight with Dixon. First, you threw too many right crosses at the guy's jaw. That'll work with white fighters 'cause whites don't usually have strong jaws, but with blacks that's usually a mistake.

What you shoulda been doin' is throwin' left and right hooks depending on which way the guy was circling you. If he was circling to your left, then you shoulda hit him with left hooks. If he was going to your right, then you should have hit him with right hooks. Let him run into your hooks, Champ. Hooks are hard to see comin' from the side like that and it uses one black weakness and one black strength against them.

Look, man, here's what I mean. Blacks have weak necks--or really the veins and nerves inside the neck--and can be hurt with blows to the side of the neck behind the jaw. Whites got glass jaws, but blacks got glass necks.

Hit 'em in the neck just right and they'll crumble like a wet rag. See, black necks are so vulnerable that most cops can't use no choke holds to restrain blacks no more. Too many of them was dying from a little pressure on the neck that wouldn't bother whites. Couple those hooks with the black's speed as he moves to his left or right, and he'll run right into your hooks. Your hooks aimed at his neck along with his natural speed in moving in that direction will increase the force of your hooks. He'll knock himself out, man.

The other thing you did wrong was that you kept punching Dixon in the gut. Now that looks good in movies, but it's the wrong area to hit for a well conditioned black fighter. You won't do that much damage and you'll punch yourself out. Too little bang for the buck. You should have been hitting Dixon in the chest near the heart. That's another weak spot among blacks. At your age, you have to make every punch count.

The third thing you did wrong was to let Dixon get too many shots to your face. See, white people have blood vessels near the surface and their skin is thin. This is an evolutionary thing to let us take in more sunlight to produce Vitamin D, in the places where we are the indigenous people--especially northern Europe. Blacks have thicker, darker skin and blood vessels not so near the surface 'cause in Africa if they had developed skin like us, they'd take in too much sunlight. The result of these two evolutionary paths is that we cut and bleed easier than blacks. So, you gotta protect your face. You gotta put your hands up high and keep them there. Let him hit your gloves, they don't bleed.

You don't want the fight stopped because you're bleedin' all over the place. Now, when we bleed it often looks worse than it is, so the ref--especially if he's black and is used to seeing how blacks bleed--will wrongly conclude that you're hurt real bad if you bleed a lot because a black would be hurt bad if he bled as much.

Also, it's easier to knock whites out by hitting us on the point of the chin than it is with blacks and if you let Dixon keep hittin' you in the face, he may hit the nerves in your chin and knock you out.

Also, as I already said, you kept throwing right crosses at Dixon. Now a right cross is called the knockout punch, but it got that name back before there were many blacks in boxing. Hit whites on the point of the chin just right and you've got a good chance of dropping them. Hit blacks there, and they may just look at you and ask for more. See, that can also be unnerving and make you lose confidence if you throw your haymaker and the guy just smiles at you.

Not following this, Champ? Look, let me put it this way. Whites have weak chins and blacks have weak necks. A right cross hits black where they're strong but a hook hits them where they're weak. They got their armor on the chin, Champ, not on the neck.

And, I don't mean no disrespect, Champ, but I know you may not be getting all this down, so let me put it together a little for you. First, when you fight Dixon again, get him to drop his hands by hitting him in the chest area--not the stomach. Then, when he drops his hands, go upstairs with an immediate left or right hook. Now, you're slow and lumbering, so you're not going to have time to think about this in the fight. You gotta train so that it's automatic. Chest, chest, boom--left or right cross. Chest, chest, boom-- left or right cross. See, it's like a song. It's got rhythm.

Also, you gotta take the time to watch fight films of Dixon. Because of your age, you'll tire yourself out if you try to figure out his strategy while you're in the ring. You gotta know it goin' in. He ain't gonna change it much, Champ. Count on it. He'll fight the same way he always fights. And, you'll get him.

You seen that white Wladimir Klitschko fight against black Ray Austin in Germany, Champ? You see that knockout punch thrown by Klitschko? It was a left hook. In fact, Klitschko used the left hook through most of the fight. Now, if Klitschko fights a good white fighter, that left hook ain't gonna help him that much. He'll have to go back to a right cross to knock out the white fighter.